Every parent, everywhere, after one of those tantrums…

Tell me I’m not the only one.

Automated phone systems + presence of toddler = fail.

06365AE7-7831-422E-9652-7895325B94CA

So. Impossible.

morningSickness

See, I had nothing to worry about! Apparently empathy isn’t a thing they do yet.

noChoice

After all, it’d be a real pain to change the domain name.

goodmomterribleperson

Did I just threaten my three-year old with diarrhea? Yes. Did she wash her hands? Also yes. Sometimes you have to speak truth to power.

mindControl

You could call it “affirmation” or something; I just call it surprisingly effective.

rightAmount

Toddlers: Can’t consistently count to ten, but can instantly tell they need one more cheerio.

sarcasm

Ah…time to up the sarcasm subtlety level.

mosquito

Nothing like a toddler to boost your self-esteem.

parentingrussianroulette24042017

I know, I know, “Little Lion Man” with a three year old in the house is a foolish risk. But it’s such a good song!